Dramatic Nightfall
by Alina-Cantha
Summary: A parody of the 'traditional Mary Sue'. A collaboration between Shadow and I, we certainly enjoyed ourselves writing this, so you should read, and enjoy!


THE BESTEST NARUTO STORY EVAR

**This is a joke, people. Really. Onward! (It's a 'well-written' (Note the quotations…) Mary-Sue. Just thank your lucky stars it's not an insert-you fic. dies)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters, or any of the Naruto-verse. They instead belong to Masashi Kishimoto. And if he knew about this, he'd kill me. I also don't own anything relating to other anime series, such as Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Inu-Yasha.**

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**Chapter 1: They Call Me Mariko Suki!**

Sasuke sat in the forest, gazing up at the birds. They were so…free. Like he would never be. He was "the avenger". He leapt to his feet, like an incredibly graceful bird. As any good shinobi would, he glanced around cautiously. In the bushes, which were green, but not just regular, more like the green of a bush or a candy-apple lollipop, he caught sight of a flash of color, which was not green. In fact, it looked a lot like the cotton candy he'd eaten once at a fair, which was pink. In a flash, he leaped to it, grabbing the person he found within. "You, what are…?" He trailed off at the sight of the shapely girl in front on him.

Her hair hung down to her waist, the most beautiful blonde color anyone had ever seen. In the dim evening light of the sun, it sparkled like the sun on an early morning. Her eyes were blue, the same color as Sasuke's shirt, but lighter. They shone with tears as she gazed up at Sasuke. Her well-endowed chest perfectly filled out a bubble-gum pink tube top. Her chest was large enough it would have made Tsunade-sama jealous and Ero-sennin even more perverted, about as perverted as Master Roshi from Dragonball and Dragonball Z. Her long, perfect legs extended from a pair of short shorts, a shiny black in color. The shorts were shorter than normal, but weren't short enough to be like underwear. Her perfect pale skin was perfectly clean, although she had apparently traveled through the copse (Aka woods). Slowly, she rose to her full height of 5'3", which was pretty tall for the girls around Konoha, although she was still very short, but she was made taller by the platform ninja shoes she wore, in the standard dark blue of the Konoha ninjas…who lived in Konoha. She looked much older than her 13 years, 6 months of age, and this made Sasuke fall for her immediately. Not fall over, like you may think, but just fall…in _love_. And if you know Sasuke, you know that he doesn't fall in love. Not, you know, the _love _love kind, at least. Maybe love, but not _love _love.

Tenderly, he helped her up. "I'm sorry I scared you," he said, blushing. "I'm Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. Who are you?" He barely hid his new-found love for her.

"I-I'm…" she stammered. Slowly, Sasuke touched her hand, and then proceeded to grab her hand. She flushed, as Sasuke did also. (Not the toilet though, because their aren't toilets in the forest.) "I'm Ma…Mary Sue…" she stammered. "But my friends call me Mariko Suki, 'cause I'm Japanese…and you're my friend…right?"

"Yeah… I'm Sasuke, and you can call me Sasuke-Chan," he said. He was getting more embarrassed by the girl. Her sparkling blue-blue eyes sparkled with the passion of a dozen fireworks. Her hand held his hand and she bit her lower lip trying to look cuter than a teddy bear. But Sasuke didn't like teddy bears so he thought she was cuter than Itachi, or maybe even a kitten. Or maybe Itachi _and_ a kitten. And he liked cute kittens…a lot…almost as much as he liked Itachi. Although he would never let anyone know this. (A/N: Interpret as you wish.)

"Do you think you can help me?" she asked him, fluttering her eyelashes over her blue-blue sapphire eyes. "This boy called Naruto is chasing me because I shot him down…" She paused, rolling her sapphire eyes back in her head as she instantly snapped to a conclusion. "Not with a gun, like, you know, but like, for a date."

"That bitch! He's cheating on me!" Sasuke cried, slamming his fist into his palm. (The palm of the other hand, not the one he's got in a fist.)

Rewind

"I mean, uh, Naruto? I can take care of _him_," Sasuke growled, like my kitty cat Sam, even though Sam doesn't growl…much, at least. Sasuke probably growls more. Sasuke's aggressive that way.

As the lead rookie said those words, the demon-infested boy ran into the clearing where the first two stood. "Mariko, I love you. Please go out with me!" he cried, but not like a baby, like a _man_. He knelt at her feet, hands folded in prayer to the beautiful blonde-haired angel who had fallen out of the sky. (Not literally, but in a metaphoric kind of way. Don't know what metaphor means? Neither do I. Can you look it up please? Not really. I really do know what it means. You know…never mind.)

From the depths of her beautiful throat, she hocked up a beautiful loogie, unlike anything anyone had ever seen before. Of course, people around Konoha don't see many loogies. Maybe loonies, but not loogies. Naruto grabbed her beautiful perfect leg and looked lovingly up at her, avoiding her large chest and instead looking into her big cerulean eyes. "I think that's sexy," he said lovingly.

"Get off her," Sasuke said jealously, pulling Naruto from her leg. "She's beautiful, and she's mine," he said with a growl…again. He realized what he had said, and moved to her side to grab her hand again.

"Yeah, get off me," she said. "Be careful or I'll use Chidori on you again." She took a step back and light purple chakra began to glow around her perfectly-manicured left hand. Although she was right handed, she used her left hand for the Chidori because she felt that it equaled out the workload between them. In fear, Naruto let go of his beloved's leg.

"You wouldn't use it on me again, would you?" he asked her in fear, eyes wide in fear.

"I've already used it three times today, once more won't matter much," she said. The lavender chakra around her hand grew bigger, growing like a plant, but of chakra instead.

Next to her, Sasuke's hues (Aka eyes) got bigger. "You can use Chidori too?" he asked, eyes getting bigger. Bigger than they were before, even. "Where did you learn it?"

She giggled girlishly, as only a girl can do (and maybe a few 'special' guys, like Neji when you kick him the crotch), and said to him, "From Kakashi, of course. He's my dad. I'm adopted."

In sympathy, Sasuke wrapped her in his arms. "Don't worry. I know what it's like to be without parents. And just to let you know, it's perfectly normal to love your siblings…even if it _is _in _that_ way."

Girlishly, she snuggled deeper into his arms. She turned her perfect face towards his slightly flawed, but almost perfect face. Her blue eyes looked into his (which aren't blue, but are still eyes) and suddenly both of them were struck with love. (Like Cupid had hit them with an arrow, but less painful. In fact, it was rather warm and fuzzy, rather like my kitty Harry, who in fact, is quite warm and fuzzy…as well as fluffy. Did I mention warm and fuzzy? In fact, it was _very _fuzzy, kind of like that thing that's around Sesshoumaru's neck in Inu-Yasha.)

Like two magnetic kissing fish (or those bears…), their lips came together in a beautiful kiss. It was perfect in every way, except Sasuke tasted funny, rather like rice. In any case, it was still perfect, just because Mariko's perfectness overwhelmed everything else.

Although they didn't want to (you could say they were reluctant), they finally came up for air. Sasuke stared into her flawless eyes, overcome with even more love. Naruto too, was struck by the love bug. (which wasn't really a bug, but was, in fact, another metaphor. Aren't metaphors fun?) However, Sasuke was now the object of Naruto's affections.

The demon fox leaped to his feet, and tackled Sasuke, full of love for his team-mate. (A/N: Interpret as you wish. You could see NaruSasu here, or it could just be the incredible love, loyalty, companionship, affection, trust, admiration, and other such feelings, emotions and thoughts for his friend and wonderful team-mate Sasuke.)

"Let's go back to the village," Naruto told his friend. "I want to show off this beautiful girl to everyone, even Sakura-chan."

So all three of them hurried back to the village, but Mariko got there first, 'cause she's a great ninja, and is much faster. When she arrived, she waited for Naruto and Sasuke to catch up. Sasuke could almost keep up with her, just because his love for her made him stronger, and faster too, like he could lift heavy stuff and run like a cheetah, and a fast one too, not a sick one.

In the village, Mariko, Sasuke and Naruto ran into Kakashi, who was running late for a meeting, like he always is. "Hello, you three," he said with a smile. "It's nice to see you again."

"That's nice, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said.

"Yes, in fact I'm just about on time for my meeting if I hurry, to my meeting, which I plan to be on time for," Kakashi said.

"Hi, Daddy!" said Mariko. She ran up to him and hugged him, as if he was her father, her real father, not her adopted father, even though he was her adoptive father. "I missed you!"

"It's been a whole four hours, sweetheart!" he answered, hugging her tightly, like any loving father would do, even though he wasn't 'technically' her father. "How's the Chidori going?"

"I already mastered it in just one day," she said, as if it was no big deal, because it really wasn't, because she was a great ninja. In fact, the only reason she wasn't the Hokage was just because she hadn't gotten around to it yet. Right now she was a genin, and hadn't taken the chuunin exam yet, even though she was a powerful ninja.

"That's my girl," Kakashi told her, kissing her lightly on the forehead.

"Sakura! Come meet my new friend!" Naruto shouted, waving at the pink-haired girl. The girl came over and stared at Mariko's intense beauty, shocked and awed at it. Sakura was so angry that this girl was more beautiful than her, that she had to get rid of her, and aimed a punch at her. Mariko easily caught it in one palm, twisting Sakura's wrist and dumping Sakura to the ground.

"Don't try and beat me up, no one can," she smiled, and wrapped her lithe, sexy, beautiful body around Sasuke. She giggled and winked, and everybody around her was instantly smitten (in love with her, you know.)

**The end for now… O'course, there'll be more. I hope Shadow doesn't mind my posting this, it was a collaborative effort…sadly. Hope you enjoyed, and remember. THIS IS A JOKE! I don't frickin' care if you don't think it's funny. It's not supposed to make sense, it's not supposed to follow any rules. Oh well.**

**Alina**


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